Where does this come from

The truth

Originally this was an idea that my partner and I came up with together. We found that often when conflict would arise between us, we would become guarded or "wall up" or just in an upset.  When this would happen, we would get stuck in a disagreement and no matter what we tried to resolve it, we could not get past the other person's guard. We realized that at this point, nothing gets through the guard... not kind words, apologies, support, and certainly not love. Understanding that if the love cannot get through the guard, we came up with the saying, "Let the love through". This would help us realize that we are loved and safe and that neither of us want to be in a situation where we cannot feel that love.

I would like to say this worked all the time, but sadly that is not the case. As a matter of fact, we are sadly no longer in a relationship. I take full responsibility for my actions that lead to the relationship ending and am very regretful that I did not see the work that I need to do for myself before it got to this point. The truth is that I was not ready for a relationship such as this one and I could not be fully available to her. There are triggers from my past that I allow to take my power, reactions that are not healthy to a relationship and healing that I need to do before I could ever be an equal partner in a relationship. My past has come into our space too often and my lack of being able to "let go" or deal with it is not healthy.

There has never been a lack of love between us and our relationship was like deeper than anything we had ever experienced. The Physical, Intellectual, Practical and Spiritual aspects of our relationship were incredible. The issue was the inconsistency in the Emotional relationship. When it was good nothing could compare, but issues would arise (typically due to my inability to deal with triggers) and this would sour the amazing times we had. 

​

This blog is to help others learn what I have come to realize, to share with others the trials and tribulations and to hopefully help others if they find themselves in a similar situation… a place where they are not letting the love through.

It will also follow my journey as I work on becoming whole, being the man that I want to be, and ridding myself of the ways of my past.

I hope you find it useful in some way.