Who We Are
The story behind it.
This is the part that doesn't fit neatly into a framework.
The part behind
Let The Love Through
My name is Paola Tolvo. I'm really glad you're here.
My husband Jordan and I are both in our second marriage, after relationships that lasted more than twenty years.
Now in our early fifties, our relationship is not built on the illusion of effortless love.
Many of the reflections shared here were shaped inside our own relationship.
The early reality
In truth, the early years brought significant growing pains.
As much as we adored each other, there were moments — especially before we got married — when it became clear that loving each other was not the same as knowing how to make love work.
The realization
We came to see that love alone was not enough to sustain the relationship we envisioned.
The heartbreak
There was a time when everything we had...fell apart, and we broke up.
Not because the love was gone—but because we couldn't stay connected inside of it.
We were both heartbroken.
Thankfully, after some time apart, we got back together.
And the way it happened is a story of its own. I talk about it on another page. It's totally worth checking it out. It's what that time actually looked like—from the inside.
The decision
As you probably guessed, our problems did not magically disappeared when we got back together.
But instead of walking away (again), we made a different commitment: to learn.
To understand ourselves better.
To understand each other better.
To develop the emotional skills that real love requires.
The irony
At the time, I was already working as a life coach,
with a successful practice.
But like many people who help others, I sometimes struggled to practice the very things I encouraged and guided others to do.
The process
Our relationship became a place of real work and discovery—one that required humility, honesty, and the willingness to try again after getting it wrong.
What we built
What we have today is not the result of luck or compatibility alone.
It is the result of choosing—again and again—to grow.
We are very proud of the relationship we've built, and also proud of each other for our individual growth.
And the practice continues every day.
A balanced perspective
Much of what you'll find here grows out of conversations between us.
While the voice of this space is mine, Jordan is very much part of the process—questioning, challenging, keeping me grounded, and helping translate lived experience into words.
Tried and true
What appears here has been tested in real life:
sometimes successfully, sometimes imperfectly, and often repeatedly.
Let The Love Through is not about perfect relationships.
It's about learning the quiet skills that allow love to move through two imperfect people— again and again.