Deeply Simple Shifts
Relationship Values
The standards you live by together
Our stance on Relationship Values is simple—but defining.
Relationship Values aren’t just ideas you agree with.
They’re the standards you live by—especially when it’s hard.
Relationship Values are the foundation you consciously choose together.
How you handle conflict. How you speak to each other.
What you protect, what you prioritize, and what you no longer tolerate.
It’s about sharing the same direction.
Choosing honesty over comfort.
Respect over reactivity.
Growth over staying stuck.
Because love, on its own, isn’t enough to sustain a relationship.
It’s the values you embody that give it shape, strength, and direction.
This is what keeps you aligned over time.
Not just in how you feel—
but in how you honor those values, every day.
DEEPLY SIMPLE SHIFTS
From Taking to Choosing
WHEN THIS HAPPENS:
You start expecting the relationship to just “be there”
PAUSE:
Notice where you’re relying on the relationship
instead of choosing it
INSTEAD OF:
Taking it for granted
ASK YOURSELF:
Am I actively choosing this—or assuming it will carry itself?
TRY THIS:
“I don’t want to take this for granted—I want to choose us”
WHAT BECOMES POSSIBLE:
Intentional love instead of passive connection
Want to go deeper?
Read the full piece here.
DEEPLY SIMPLE SHIFTS
From Drifting to Anchoring
WHEN THIS HAPPENS:
You feel slightly disconnected, but nothing “big” is wrong
PAUSE:
Acknowledge the distance instead of ignoring it
INSTEAD OF:
Letting it continue unchecked
ASK YOURSELF:
What small shift would bring us back right now?
TRY THIS:
“I don't feel as close to you as I would like—can we reconnect?”
WHAT BECOMES POSSIBLE:
Closeness instead of slow disconnection
Want to go deeper?
Read the full piece here.
DEEPLY SIMPLE SHIFTS
From Criticism to Appreciation
WHEN THIS HAPPENS:
You focus on what they didn’t do or did wrong
PAUSE:
Interrupt the negative scan
INSTEAD OF:
Pointing out the problem
ASK YOURSELF:
What am I not seeing or acknowledging right now?
TRY THIS:
“I don’t say this enough, but I really appreciate the way you…”
WHAT BECOMES POSSIBLE:
Warmth instead of discouragement
Want to go deeper?
Read the full piece here.
DEEPLY SIMPLE SHIFTS
From Independence to Interdependence
WHEN THIS HAPPENS:
You default to handling things alone
PAUSE:
Notice where you’re excluding your partner
INSTEAD OF:
Carrying everything alone
ASK YOURSELF:
What would it look like to let them in here?
TRY THIS:
“I’ve been doing this on my own, and it keeps us from
being a team. I want us to do this together.”
WHAT BECOMES POSSIBLE:
Partnership instead of isolation
Want to go deeper?
Read the full piece here.
DEEPLY SIMPLE SHIFTS
From Surface to Depth
WHEN THIS HAPPENS:
Conversations stay logistical or surface-level
PAUSE:
Slow down and feel what’s underneath
INSTEAD OF:
Staying in routine talk
ASK YOURSELF:
What’s underneath this?
TRY THIS:
“Can we go a little deeper than this?”
WHAT BECOMES POSSIBLE:
Intimacy instead of disconnection
Want to go deeper?
Read the full piece here.
DEEPLY SIMPLE SHIFTS
From Inconsistency to Reliability
WHEN THIS HAPPENS:
You say you’ll do something—but don’t follow through
PAUSE:
Notice the gap between your words and your actions
INSTEAD OF:
Letting it slide
ASK YOURSELF:
Am I showing up in a way that builds trust?
TRY THIS:
“I said I would do this—and I didn’t. I want to be more consistent”
WHAT BECOMES POSSIBLE:
Trust instead of doubt
Want to go deeper?
Read the full piece here.
DEEPLY SIMPLE SHIFTS
From Misalignment to Agreement
WHEN THIS HAPPENS:
You’re moving forward with different expectations
PAUSE:
Catch the assumption of alignment
INSTEAD OF:
Continuing without clarifying
ASK YOURSELF:
Have we actually agreed on this?
TRY THIS:
“I think we might be seeing this differently—
can we make sure we're on the same page?”
WHAT BECOMES POSSIBLE:
Clarity instead of friction
Want to go deeper?
Read the full piece here.
DEEPLY SIMPLE SHIFTS
From Entitlement to Investment
WHEN THIS HAPPENS:
You expect things to feel good without effort
PAUSE:
Notice where you’re expecting instead of contributing
INSTEAD OF:
Waiting for things to improve
ASK YOURSELF:
What am I putting into this right now?
TRY THIS:
“I want to be more intentional about how I show up”
WHAT BECOMES POSSIBLE:
Effort instead of complacency
Want to go deeper?
Read the full piece here.
DEEPLY SIMPLE SHIFTS
From Inattention to Intetionality
WHEN THIS HAPPENS:
The relationship starts to feel like background noise
PAUSE:
Notice where your attention has drifted
INSTEAD OF:
Letting connection run on autopilot
ASK YOURSELF:
What would it look like to tend to this on purpose?
TRY THIS:
“I don’t want us to run on autopilot—let’s be intentional here”
WHAT BECOMES POSSIBLE:
Connection instead of drift
Want to go deeper?
Read the full piece here.