Crazy Dream

September 30, 2022

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Last night I dreamt I was an astronaut. It was such a vivid and meaningful dream that I woke up and immediately journaled about it so I wouldn’t forget anything.

In the dream I was female (not sure why). After being in space for some time, it was time to come back to Earth. This was going to be a new kind of re-entry, one that no one had ever done before. The ship we took to space was supposed to be left as part of the space station. So, the re-entry was going to be done with only the protection of my specially designed space suit. After months of training and preparation, it was time that I left the safety of my spaceship and began my trip to Earth. As I was plummeting towards Earth, I had to rely on the suit that protects me and the training that I had received. I entered the atmosphere and began to feel the heat building, my heart rate increasing and feeling anxiety building, but I knew what to do to keep safe. I made adjustments, I slowed my descent, and focused on my training. As the Earth became closer and closer, I became more nervous. Any little mistake could cost me my life. However, there was also a sense of calm as I looked around and saw the beauty. Not just the beauty of the planet that I was approaching, but the beauty of the experience; Feeling like I was flying, breaking new ground, and the beauty of the confidence that I had in my training and knowledge. As I entered the lower atmosphere, I realized I was going a little too fast. I could see the ships floating around the area that I was going to splash down. At this point, radio communication was reestablished and I could hear the panic and the voices as they told me I was going too fast, I was going to crash, I was not going to make it! I blocked out their voices, relied on my own knowledge and my training. At the last moment, I engaged my reverse thrusters, pitched my body up toward the sky to slow my descent, and made my way to the target landing area. The quick adjustments that I made during my descent allowed me to slow down enough and land perfectly on my target. After landing, splashing down, I remember a feeling of elation, pride, and accomplishment. I had done something that nobody else thought I could do and I did it perfectly.

What I feel this dream presents is my journey to becoming a new version of myself. The training and knowledge that I've gained in my journey allows me to make quick adjustments, trust my knowledge and my ability. Leaving the spaceship and the safety that it represents, feels like leaving the familiar life that I have led and leaving the safety of the known, for the uncertainty of the unknown. The fear that was felt as I entered the atmosphere and felt the heat build in my suit, represents all of the doubts that I had in myself, the fear that I would fail, and the pressure that I felt to better myself and become whole and complete. The voices that I was hearing in the communications, represent two things: the internal voice of doubt when I would struggle, and the people in my life that either didn't want me to fail, feared that I would fail, or tried to hold me back to keep me safe. The confidence that I felt in my abilities to adjust, to keep myself safe, and to be successful in my mission, directly correlate with the feelings I had in my journey. I had confidence that I could do what needed to be done, that my knowledge and training would be ever present and could be called upon at any time, and that with any adversity that was presented I would be able to overcome it. And lastly splashing down right on target, surrounded by people watching was very meaningful. I feel that in this journey, there are a lot of eyes on me, people watching and waiting to see what is going to happen, will I be successful, and some of them to be there to help me succeed and others there to pick up the pieces if I fail. I celebrated my success in my dream, I had a feeling unlike any I had ever felt before. I need to celebrate my successes in my journey as well, as the feeling that I have from my progress is also like none I have ever felt before. I am right on target. I have the tools and knowledge to succeed. Most of all, I have confidence in myself that I can do it. The journey is beautiful and the results are incredible.

In the dream, I broke new ground, I did something that I never thought was possible, and I succeeded beyond my wildest expectations. In my real life, in my journey, I have done the exact same thing. My journey is not over, nor will it ever be, but celebrating my success is a critical part, as rewarding oneself and celebrating one's accomplishments is a necessary step in recognizing how far one has come.